I have been away from my blog for some time now; I was derailed by swift and unexpected grief.
At the end of September my beloved dog Beanie succumbed to old age. Anyone who has allowed themselves to give their heart away completely to a pet understands the depth of my sadness.
And then tragically, in the wake of Beanie's departure, my dad, for whom I can not even begin to adequately express my love and devotion, slipped into a coma and subsequently left our midst. My sense of loss is profound and the pain is deep.
Recently a very old friend penned these words to me~
Just when I thought I was doing better, some reminder came along and knocked me flat on my back. It was painful. And I never get over missing my parents...it doesn't go away. I just get used to it.
Grief is tricky business. Just when I think I am beginning to brighten, a little thing will trigger tears.
I'm sure that tears will eventually ebb and I will be warmed by the countless good memories of my relationship with my dad. There is such rich history with him and I will never tire of recounting all the ways he impacted me and all of the reasons I valued him.
But for now I am somewhat shackled by emotion.
My dad loved to know that I was writing and he encouraged me to pursue writing as a past time. Now and again I would write a short-short story and share it with him. Or I would deviate from the topics of house and garden to blog about something of a slightly more complex nature; mostly because I thought he wanted me to. He was my father, my friend and my biggest fan. And I can only hope he knows how much I miss him.